My Weaning Story From Breastfeeding

I had no idea how to start weaning.

I felt so torn between wanting my own body back and wanting my baby to be happy and nourished for as long as possible. I know I’m probably not alone. 18 months felt right (I mean, I knew I was ready) and I simply started by asking google what other moms had done. Having exclusively breastfed meant no bottles, so no going to just bottles, then another supplemental beverage in place of pumped milk. What I did do was make the Weston A Price bone broth liver formula for times my husband was with him, and he did like that (still does). So onward I went with that gem and his tiny cup as a potential new comfort drink…

I read other mom’s stories, which did prove helpful! Some took the “don’t offer, don’t refuse” approach. Others just seemed to drop a feeding a day, until a couple of weeks later they were done. For me it just seemed harder – I mean, my son loveddddd breastfeeding. But I started slow. At first I began just saying “no, not right now” or distracting/replacing the feed with play or food or water. This was a good jump-start. One day, a couple weeks later, I’d realized I’d only breastfed him twice that day. Whoh! It was a time when my husband was home with him more/I was working without him (when usually he would accompany me) because of new COVID regulations. That was a huge help/step in the right direction. Then night feedings dropped altogether. Done. Then I was in a twice a day (or three times) of feedings. Soon it was only after his nap. Then it was only in the morning, which for us was the hardest to break. He would wake up between 4:30 and 5:30 some mornings, standing and whining in his crib (which I suspected was to feed), and I was too tired not to bring him back into bed with me to feed/possibly fall back asleep. The snuggles were also nice, of course. This solo morning routine probably lasted a month.

About three times I woke up in the morning with engorged breasts. Ouch. Then came the moments when my little guy used to look me straight in the eyes, signing “more” which both of us knew as – please, mom, I want to cuddle and breastfeed. It HURT emotionally for me. I hated that it was taking him away from a prized comfort. But, at this point we had to keep going. I would explain “no, boobie is (signing and talking) “all done” and let’s read a book (or something else, per above). 

Aside from the physical weaning part and worrying about how he was taking it, I had no idea about the emotional and postpartum tole it would take on me. The most unexpected was the hormonal rollercoaster I unexpectedly threw myself into. Postpartum depression kicked in. It wasn’t continuous, but it would come and go depending on how many feedings I had dropped (at least it seemed like there was a correlation there). It would last 2-3 days, and then I’d feel more myself again. I would go through exhaustive bursts of being extremely lethargic. Tired for no reason, it seemed like. Like I could sleep in until noon. My legs would ache at night. Not cramping, just dull consistent aching in my lower legs and feet. I’d also get some headaches (which I rarely ever get). My dad told me later on that my mom went through something similar when she was weaning my siblings and I as babies. And other mothers through social media and on blogs, too, went through this. I wasn’t alone, so this was very reassuring.

But. It. Was. HARD. 

On another note, my menstrual cycle came back the weekend before Mother’s Day. I was definitely excited . (Yay! my hormones were back to a pre-pregnancy state and, to me, meant I was one step closer to having my body fully back). It had been just about 18 months. My cycle lasted for what felt like a quick 4 days. During and after this time, I continuted to breastfeed in the morning still, and at the tail end, right before those feedings stopped as well, I got my period again. Nice! This was about a month later, and was significant for me. What also felt significant? The fact that I was expecting to feel intense cramping and discomfort for 4 days. I mean, it had been two and a half years since my last cycle. But there was nothing, not one little cramp prior to bleeding OR during it, either. It’s hard for me NOT to think my diet is involved in this positive, beautiful menstrual experience. What I did crave for about 3 weeks prior to my first period, and craved a lot of, was fat. Especially animal fats. I had meatballs come out of the oven with marinara sauce that had been cooking with it, and found myself numerous times just standing over the stove eating the runny fat/marinara mixture. I LITERALLY couldn’t get enough of it. Hormone/fat connection here? Whatever the physiological mechanism was, I’m so grateful to my body and for the commitment I’ve made to myself through food and supplements. I never strive for perfection, but for a 90/10 version of the 80/20 rule. 80% of the time you eat nourishing, nutrient dense foods (I mainly live a paleo-style lifestyle). 20% of the time you don’t worry about it as much – such as traveling or eating out. When you’re not sure of ingredients (such as in a restaurant) or are being treated to a family member or friends home-cooked meal, this is special, too. I’ve personally learned through RESTART® that “you choose, you don’t cheat” – having a positive mindset around food is just as important.

To elaborate just a little bit more, I focused on nourishing myself mostly in the morning and for dinner, giving myself more grace to snack on anything else in between. Breakfast is really important as it sets your day up for success in terms of blood sugar, energy quality milk supply and nutrient rich milk. If you follow me on Instagram, I’ll consistently share my breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks and much more. I believe my commitment to myself helped my cycle return sans cramping, BUT, the weaning postpartum depression & other symptoms? More magnesium? More rest/sleep? I have yet to know what could have eased that, but I’m grateful it wasn’t more severe and it’s now in the past.

I’ll now look at my son, thinking about all we’ve been through together since November 7, 2018. From start to finish, weaning took about two and a half months. As I write, it’s June 8, 2020. Together we’ve been blessed to be together since his birth, with my husband to thank for supporting us with his work, too. As my sister says, “the days are long, but the years are fast.”

All in all, I’m grateful for all the exhaustive nights, the moments in the hospital day 2 when I was SO HAPPY he was nursing well/I was producing well, the times I’d sit and really not feel like breastfeeding, and the moments of blissful bonding. It was truly great, and I feel really blessed, but it’s definitely NOT easy.